Hello friends 🙂
This past year or half a year I lived in my Universities dorms with a roommate and my boyfriend who lived on the floor above me. This dorm experience for me was not at all what I expected. I go to a University in Washington State and I live around the Seattle area. There was multiple hand counts of people from my high school going to the same University as me. I was friends in high school with some of them but I guess we just faded apart. I decided to message an old friend of mine from Minnesota who I knew when I lived there.
I could argue that this was a good decision of mine and I thought it was at the very beginning. Everything seemed okay and we seemed to get along well, which we did for most of the time. However, my boyfriend also attends the same University as me and he was a floor above us so I would go up to his room quite often, especially first quarter. My boyfriend is the most important person to me, aside from family, and I will also be there for him.
My roommate did not like my boyfriend. I don’t know why or understand why this could be. He never said anything rude to her to try and offend her or show a lack of respect. We’ve been dating for close to three years now but at the time we had just been dating for barely over two years. I don’t want to get to into detail about what exactly happened but no names are being said here and I doubt anyone reading this will know who I’m talking about.
At the very beginning of the year we all were trying to get to know each other. Which is normal for making new friends at college. I’m not a huge party person and I don’t think I ever will be. My dad was an alcoholic and I’ve seen how drunk people act and I don’t want to be around that nor do I want to be that. I think my roommate wanted to party, she talked about it, but the truth is it didn’t interest me. Someone could argue it’s because I want to spend all my time with my boyfriend, which is true, but I also spent time away from him.
I wanted them to be friends because it would be awkward if they weren’t and would make me feel uncomfortable. My roommate would call my boyfriend names that I can’t say on here but you can imagine the words he was called. When this first started happening I wanted it to immediately stop. My roommate was telling me how horrible my boyfriend was and I just couldn’t handle it. Especially since she was the one just calling him names.
This hurt me horribly, I went to my RA to talk about it because I didn’t know what to do at all. She recommended I didn’t have my boyfriend in our room, which he never really came down anyways. But that method didn’t work. Nothing seemed to work. I had a conversation with the both of them and all my roommate said was it didn’t affect her so it didn’t matter. I was absolutely mind blown. I was really out of options.
My boyfriend and I would come home almost every weekend because it was nice to get out of the dorms and spend alone time together. I just want to say that coming out of high school in a relationship and moving into to college is hard. It’s a lot of work and you have to work together and understand each other. We definitely had our struggles our first quarter but we worked them out. My RA told me how uncommon it is for couples coming in together to stay together but we did and I think that really tested how much we love each other.
Anyways, we would come home and get away for the weekend. I can’t say I didn’t talk poorly about my roommate sometimes because I did but it was really only to my boyfriend. We would talk about how we should approach things and how my boyfriend won’t say anything harsh back to her when she calls him names. He just sat there and took it. We decided to just take it for now and not say anything.
I met one of my good friends at college around that time as well and we would talk about everything going on and how unhealthy it was for me. This friend made my life so much better, I had someone who is a best friend to talk to. If my boyfriend was playing games, I could go to the library with her or text her and just talk. She made me feel less crazy.
There wasn’t much more juicy information about my roommate that is more than name calling. A couple other things is I never got alone time, she wouldn’t really go out except work occasionally. She liked to talk on the phone sometimes with the speaker on while I was doing homework which was horrible for me. And lastly my boyfriends roommate asked out my roommate. This was just I don’t really have words. I knew deep down she liked him and I could tell. She didn’t want to admit it but she was very flirtatious and the poor guy just keep getting led on.
Aside from all of this, the dorm room itself was small. It wasn’t fun, very small and close together. We had a hallway style, the bathrooms were outdated and our floors had stains on them. The showers were gross a majority of the time and the sinks would be full of noodles.
I wish I had tried to dorm with someone from my high school who got along with my boyfriend. I can’t take it back now but I learned lessons from this. I unadded my old roommate on social media and I’ve felt more relaxed after I did that. I don’t want to be selfish but It helped me. Now my boyfriend and I are looking for an apartment together and plan to live together forever unless something happens but I don’t think anything will.
Let me know if you had any crazy roommate moments or dorm moments and let me know if there’s anything else you would like me to talk about.